Guest Feature: Pursuing Renewal (Pt. 2): Intimacy

It’s only in the state of intimacy with Jesus that you can see clearly.

I know, I know, “bold way to start off Miranda” - but it’s true. Let’s just get right into it because in a world full of noise, opinions, and voices, it can get hard to see clearly - right? We just went through one of the most tumultuous times in our country’s history - the 2024 presidential election. I absolutely will not get into politics in this post, and I don’t really have an interest in whatever side you took (or didn’t take), but I do know that collectively we all felt the pressure and intensity that surrounded the days, weeks, and months of that moment.

In those times of pressure, we lose clarity - don’t we? In huge moments like the election, we struggle to quiet all the voices surrounding us to hear the Father clearly. The same thing happens during the toughest moments of life - job changes, moving, children being born, losing family members - it’s in these moments of pressure that we allow what surrounds us to take over what’s in our hearts and minds.

If I’ve learned anything in my journey of life, the decades I’ve lived, and the trials I’ve been through - it’s that intimacy with Jesus is the only experience that exists in the world that can fulfill me. It’s only in the space of intimacy that I find connection, grounding, and clarity - and that is where I run when I feel anxious, overwhelmed, or confused.

The other day my three-year-old ran into my room yelling, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” I was in there taking a much-needed little breather from the day (I have a three and a one-year-old, so I’ll let you picture the daily chaos). As I was lying back, relaxing on my bed, he came barrelling in very intensely, very urgently, and very confident of what it was he was going to ask for. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Oh … there you are! I’m STARVING!!”

I let out a small giggle. I’d never heard him use that word before. It’s honestly one of my favorite moments of motherhood, watching my son observe and absorb the world and then relaying back to me how he interprets it all.

Anyway, back to the starving child ….

“Mommy, mommy, I’m STARVING!! Starving for SNACKS!!”

*another small giggle escapes my lips*

“Starving, huh bud? Wow, that sounds urgent. Let’s go then!!”

I got up and we went and found some food for him to eat. Don’t worry, we avoided that catastrophe!

What surprised me was the confidence he had in exactly how hungry he was. He was so sure he was STARVING, to the point that it was a level 5 emergency! He was hearing a sign from his body that he needed some food, and he found a very effective way to communicate it to me.

Oh, I left one part out of this story … he had just eaten 25 minutes before.

I know this isn’t a story unique to my kiddos - but it was a special moment when Papa started speaking right to me.

I heard His sweet, tender voice in my mind. “My sweet daughter, when our conclusions aren’t founded in truth, we experience a distorted reality.”

This isn’t the first time Papa has spoken something so gently to me that ultimately carried so much weight for my heart. I immediately was taken back to some of the most painful and hopeless seasons I’ve walked through. Disconnected relationships, abandoned friends, lost babies, family dreams crushed, unexpected illnesses … to name a few. This one whisper from Papa took me straight into the heart-wrenching emotions those seasons of my life held but shifted my perspective on what was happening during them.

 “...When our conclusions aren’t founded in truth, we experience a distorted reality.”

“Okay Papa, so what lies did I believe in these moments?”

“That I wasn’t with you in those trials. That we weren’t connected or united through it. That I wouldn’t come through for you in the end. That there wasn’t hope for good to come after.”

Wow … 

Maybe you relate, or maybe you have different examples and emotions to pull from, but regardless I truly believe we’ve all encountered times where our conclusions and convictions weren’t founded in truth and, in turn, our reality is distorted.

My son had a very strong conviction that he was STARVING. Similarly, when we are in the middle of the toughest things in life it’s hard to have a clear vision of what’s actually happening, right? In fact, apart from intimacy with Jesus, I’d argue it’s impossible.

You see, we weren’t just made to have hunger and to crave a deeper connection with Papa (see my prior post as I share about hunger), we were made to live from that connection, too. That’s what intimacy with Jesus is. It’s a daily walk, a daily connection, a daily relationship that all else around us comes from.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 ESV

Intimacy with your Creator, your Friend, and your Comforter, doesn’t necessarily mean your situation changes, it just means your perspective on it does. When I began my walk with Jesus, like my true walk with Him - and I started prioritizing that intimacy, I was surprised at a few things.

I’m not entirely sure what I had expected, but sometimes you have that picture that your entire life will change, right? Maybe it’s some of our religious upbringings, or good values instilled in us from church, but sometimes our mind thinks things like, 

“If I read the Bible more, things in my life will get better.”

”If I make sure to pray every day, then more miracles will happen for me.”

”If I take this situation to Jesus, he will change it immediately.”

Subconsciously this leads to a really unhealthy belief of “if I don’t, then he won’t.”

Woah.

Let’s pull that apart for a second. 

“If I don’t, then He won’t.”

I know I feel convicted of having had that belief before, too. Something in me felt it was up to me to be in the right place with God so that my life wouldn’t be terrible. Or that if I had been more consistent or connected, the bad thing wouldn’t have happened to me. If you feel this, too, just like I did, then the gospel is about to be really good news for you.

The truth is that our standing with the Father was solidified at the cross. His desire to be in our lives has always been there, and He has craved a connection with us even more than we have craved one with Him. Jesus came, the veil was torn, and it is solidified without a doubt that there is no separation. No need for sacrifices or a mediator. Just us and Him. In relationship. Every single day.

What joy this is! What good news!!

So, you may be like, “That sounds great, but how does that help my current situation? My current reality?”

Well, remember how earlier I said, “It’s impossible to have clear vision without intimacy with Jesus”? Intimacy doesn’t always change what’s happening to us, but it does change our priorities so we see those things differently. It renews our minds so that we see things rightly.

My child was so convinced that he was starving - that was his perception. His belly gurgled (real scenario) and he concluded he was starving (perceived reality), but in reality, he had just eaten 25 minutes before (the truth). He still had a need for, let’s say, more food, but his conclusion of the situation didn’t line up with the truth of what actually was happening - it was much more dramatic, in a sense.

We can be dramatic, too. One thing goes wrong and we think, “Nothing will ever go right. This is over. This is hopeless.”

I am so thankful for the beauty and depth available in our connection with the Father. In my previous post to you, we talked about hunger. About awakening the beautiful pursuit of awareness of our unity with the Father through deep, deep surrender. That journey is a lifelong one, friend, and one I invite you to embark on. But we all, way too often, experience a gap in our pursuit of renewal, right? We set our intention, put on our walking shoes, and take each step down the path, confident that we will make it wholly and unscathed to our destination.

Then, a roadblock comes - they always happen at the worst time, don’t they? A job opportunity missed, a relationship broken, anxiety resurfacing, a close family illness … you name it. We hit the roadblock and our attention comes off of our pursuit, off of Jesus, and turns right to the problem in front of us. It reminds me of the dear story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 14:22-33.

There’s so much to unpack here, but I want to just look at two things.

When Peter took his eyes off Jesus, he started sinking. He started walking out of the boat with the faith, trust, joy, and excitement that so many of us feel when we decide we are on a new path of pursuing and trusting in Jesus. He stepped over the side and although it doesn’t explicitly say this, I don’t think he stepped over while carrying a bunch of doubt. I believe he had enough faith to get out of the boat.

But he didn’t have enough faith to keep his eyes on Jesus.

When Peter shifted his focus, his perception of reality changed. He became overwhelmed and full of fear, and he started to sink.

But that’s not where the story ends.

Jesus grabbed him.

Jesus didn’t let him sink. Jesus didn’t chastise him. The Jesus I know spoke gently and kindly. His, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”, in my belief, was in genuine connection and concern for the friend standing in front of him.

How many times have we experienced horrific circumstances, or become overwhelmed by the waves of life, and taken our eyes off of Jesus; off of Papa? How many times do we let what’s happening around us pull our focus and influence our perception more than the One who made us and who is with us through it? In that shift of focus, that’s when the anxiety comes. When hopelessness comes. Dear friends, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Our focus matters, friends.

Our focus determines our perception of reality, and in turn, determines our experience.

Focus on and pursue a deeper understanding of your unity with Jesus… You will see a life of hope, goodness, and companionship. 

Focus on the unpredictable waves of life around you… You will see a life of hopelessness and evil. 

If you want to experience renewal, I encourage you to invite Papa to reveal where your focus has been.

It’s in connection with Him that we can find all answers and all wisdom (James 1:5).

You see, our Pursuit of Renewal doesn’t just take hunger away, it also takes an intentional action on our part, to not take our focus off of Jesus, not even for a second.

~Miranda Trudeau